20 sen.. ~sigh!!

It’s true..

Tahun neh tahun kehilangan tuk aku..

Hilang org, hilang diri, hilang hati.. HILANG.. ~sigh..

My Grandpa..

He’s 76 years old..10 tahun x jumpe, yet he still remember me well...

Mane mungkin dia lupa aku kan?

We have shared the same pain..

He sees his daughter, n I see my mum living her bad days..like hell!!

That is y he loves my mum n me so much kan?

Mana mungkin aku lupa all his magic tricks, all his jokes n his 20 cents??

 Yep, dia x pernah lupa tuk bagi aku 20 sen setiap hari..beli keropok  =)

Biase aje kan? Tp mcm biasa la ooo, untuk budak yg mcm aku neh, it is a BIG THING!!

Thanks God coz aku sempat jumpe dia, sempat berbual, sempat tuk bgtaw dia yg aku syg dia sgt2..

Tapi…x kira la positif mana pun aku, aku tetap hilang dia..

7:36pm… masa tuh la juga aku nmpk mummy nanges lagi, after yearsss…..

Speechless..betul la, setiap yg hidup pasti akan mati juga kan?

Tp still kite xleh elak rs sakit tuh..

Aku rela dia pergi..tapi aku, goyang laaa…

Lepas neh kalau aku nanges lagi, nak panggil siapa?

nenek xde, atok pun xde da…

Mummy, she’s had enough..please let her have a happy life oh God..

Sabarlah hati..sabarlah..

Indah sgt hidup sy neh, so sy mesti nak hargai setiap apa yg jadi..

Broken wings, n I manage to fly back again..

This time? I really have no words to describe..

Macam da terduduk kat tepi pantai, minda kosong!

My Prime will help me..mungkin dia terpaksa seret sy di sepanjang jalan..

Tp xpela..Later, everything will be fine..that is life en ..huh!

R.I.P grandpa, I love u..Thanks for everything..n I Thank God daT I found out ‘these’…

P/s: SiBintang xnak ckp pe2…SENYUM, SENYUM, SENYUM!!! =)

UntouchabLe cHaptEr iN mY lifE histOry bOok..

Reality do sLaps mE straight onto my face!!

after alL, I’d owEz tOt daT wE’re dOing great..

bUt I’m so tOtalLy wrong..

it might bE toO latE fOr mE..bUt still, bEttEr latE thaN never knew anything aitE??

siGh~~~

hOw cOuld I have missed alL the important tHings iN my life?

hOw cOuLd I owEz tOt tHat thEy’rE dOing fine there without mE?

Damn!!!  ;(

My aUnt haS a braiN cancer, shE wEnt trU an operation n sUrvivE..

yEt, complication occurred n shE haS tO face another 1…

My siS iS still in observation dUe tO hEr illnEss..

She neEds tO seE hEr dOc frequently..n I’m nOt sO surE hOw frequent iS daT..  ;(

My dad, wHat did I know bOut hiM??  ;(

nOw only I knew, hE’s nOt in a gOod cOndiTiOn tOo…

wHat eLse did I missed????????????????

I’vE missed oUt sO many, aS iF I’m a tOtaL strangErs in my own family…

I am.. =(

I missed knowing daT I had a step-sister.. Dianne..

Bad tHing iS daT shE’s sick too..

wOrst, shE died..n I nEver knew anything.. ~sigh..

sooo speechless……….. thEre’s a crack in my heart…

dad, I am sO sOrry..tO bE hOnEst, I wanted tO bE there witH u, in bad n gOod times..

I dun juZ wanted tO tell u gUys dat I lOve u alL, I wanted tO show iT!!

I wanted tO bE part oF tHis, oUr family..

bUt I gUessEd u nOe iT, sUre helL sO hard kaN..

I dUn care hOw hard iT is, I’lL give iT a try..

I will try my bEst, I promise..

p/s: I’m nOt ur daughter, ur sister, ur family jUz in namEs..i wanted tO bE real……Ya Allah, please give me strength..i love my family…